What's Wrong With Me?

Since I've started this new medicine, Viibryd, I've had some up days and I've had some down days.

Whenever I've had up days, they've been very good.

Whenever I've had down days, they've been VERY bad.

Like on Sunday, I was having a down day.  Something upset me the previous week, and I realized that things were not right.

I've recently said some things that I shouldn't have.  I've been pushing people out of my life.  I ruined another friendship.  Possibly three friendships.

_________

Yesterday I asked my mother to come up to Capital.  We went to get pizza and talk.  I then skipped three classes (two yesterday and one today), and came home to relax.  I was experiencing some chest pains because of anxiety.  I slept about 14 hours.  I went to bed around eight o'clock last night and woke up around 10 o'clock this morning.

I've calmed down today and I'm ashamed about what I did.  I asked God to forgive me, but I'm still ashamed and hurt about what I did.  I'm scared......


Does God hate me?  Why do I have to suffer?

Psalm 42:9-11

 I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me?  Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?  My bones suffer mortal avony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”  Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.