[This paper was written for the Hymns and Christian Tradition class at Capital University, where I am seeking a minor degree in religion.]
Final Reflections
Before writing
this paper, I was writing another reflection paper for the Music Business and
Law class here at Capital University.
The assignment was to write a short reflection on the class, and what my
future goals were going to be. I wrote
about how I used some of the components of the Music Business and Law class, as
well as some aspects of this class, to compose two hymns, as well as register
both with BMI and the United States Copyright office. One hymn was sung at my church, Saint Matthew
Lutheran Church, in Logan, Ohio, while the Collegiate Chorale at Christ
Lutheran Church in Bexley, Ohio, performed the other hymn. There’s nothing quite like having something
you made be sung by 150 people at the same time.
The
rest of the reflection paper for Music Business and Law dealt with what I would
do once I graduate. I’ve been very torn
lately. I stated that I came to Capital
University with the intention of working full time in a recording studio. As I took classes, and gained more insight in
the music industry, I realized that I was interested in a lot of things. I had gotten part time employment with two
sound companies, I started my own freelance production company, I’ve been
composing and writing more songs, and I’ve been writing more in general. I honestly don’t know why I’ve really gotten
into writing as of late. Last year,
during the Jesus Through The Ages class, I came to dread the writing
assignments. I felt like I was able to
say what I wanted to say in two paragraphs.
Now, a year later, I find myself writing way more than is expected. Take the hymnology paper for example. I believe that paper had a 12-page minimum
requirement. I blew way past that, and I
didn’t even realize it. The 8-page
research paper for the Music Technology Survey class turned into a massive
20-page booklet, single-spaced, with pictures and small margins. After realizing that I liked writing more
than I thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that I would like to have writing
involved in my job seeking process. In
the Music Business and Law reflection paper, I stated that I could probably get
several jobs in the music business at one time.
I could work in an audiovisual preservation company during the daytime,
at a recording studio at night, a live sound gig on the weekends, and compose
whenever I get a chance. I’ve always
been a hard worker, and I’ve always had a strong work ethic. I believe in giving the employer an honest
day’s work for what he’s paying me. I
think this is shown through my tendency to go way above and beyond the call of
duty.
On January 9,
2013, I wrote the following for the Congregational Song paper for this class.
There were many
times that I wonder, “Why am I doing this?
What is the point in all this college crap?” I sometimes feel God say, “I understand. I know what you’re going through.” Then I remember the opening verse to this
hymn,
“When I survey the wondrous cross
on
which the prince of glory died,
my richest gain I count but loss,
and pour contempt on all my pride.”
Why do I stress
about sissy stuff like college work, when God put his very own son to
death?
I was obviously referring to “When
I Survey The Wondrous Cross.” I was
writing about how I sometimes felt alone and confused as to what I am suppose
to do in life. I still get that feeling,
even while writing the Music Business and Law paper. I worry that I won’t have enough connections
in the music industry to secure a full-time job. I recently came across a hymn called “Day by
Day, and With Each Passing Moment.” A.L.
Skoog and Carolina Sandell wrote these lines that really struck me:
“Strength
I find to meet my trials here…”
“Everyday the Lord Himself is near me, So to
trust Thy promises…”
“Help me then, in every tribulation…”
“That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation…”
“Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble
meeting…”
“One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.” (“Day
by Day”).
The most important
thing I’ve learned in this class isn’t just old hymns; it’s about the community
that can come as a result of music.
There’s nothing like having 150 people stand in your home church and
sing the same song that 150 people sang four hundred years ago halfway around
the world. I find great joy in that connection
with those people. I am reminded of the
Garth Brooks concert in Central Park in 1997.
When his band left the stage, he grabbed a guitar and sat on the edge of
the stage. He sang the verses to
“Unanswered Prayers,” while the audience of about 500,000 sang the chorus. “Sometimes
I thank God for unanswered prayers / Remember when you're talkin' to the man
upstairs / That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care /
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” There’s nothing quite like that. I get somewhat upset when I see churches
install giant projector screens and hire praise bands. When this happens, the participating in community
worship turns into a watching of a concert.
The audience looks at the praise band and listens to them instead of
listening to one another.
As I continue my
struggle with depression and anxiety, I think about, “When I Survey The
Wondrous Cross.” God put his own son to
death to save me from my sin. That
should have been you and me on that cross that day, but God loves us so much,
he took flesh and was killed by the greatest thing he created –man. There is no greater love than that. I think of the last verse, “Were the whole realm of nature mine, / That
were a present far too small; / Love so amazing, so divine, / Demands my soul,
my life, my all.” At Sunday’s
service at Christ Lutheran Church in Bexley, Ohio, (after the world premier of
one of my songs) pastor Tim Iseringhausen’s sermon on Christ’s unending love
for us struck me as important to this paper.
The lesson was John 13:31-35, and was about Jesus giving his disciples a
new commandment: “Just as I have loved you, you also should love one
another.” Pastor Iseringhausen then went
on to tell how “smoke jumpers” were firefighters who would just out of airplanes
with hundreds of pounds of gear on their backs, right in the middle of a
burning forest. The smoke jumpers would
fight the fire without any water or fire retardant, and instead rely on cutting
down burning trees and digging ditches to keep the fire from spreading. These firefighters would go into these
situations knowing that they might not ever come back out. They know their days might be limited, just
as Jesus knew his days (and moments) were limited just before he was put to
death. Pastor Iseringhausen proposed a
question to the congregation: “How would you live your life if you knew the
exact moment it would end?” (Iseringhausen).
Jesus knew the exact moment it would end, and he used every second of
the remainder of his life to its fullest extent. How would you love a person if you knew the
exact moment of your death? Would you
love that person as Jesus healed a leper after the sermon on the mound? Would you love that person as “smelly-feet
washer-Jesus” loved his disciples? Would
you love that person enough that you would die for them? Just as the woman who died and gave her liver
to my dying father two and a half years ago, Jesus died on the cross to save us
from our sins. I don’t think there is
ever a greater gift than that.
I learned so much
in this class not only about hymns, but also about myself. I learned to be more confident with my battle
with depression, and I’ve learned to be more open and honest about my
shortcomings, and myself as people like Charlotte Elliot have. I’ve learned that there were people who have
taken their anger and pain and put it down into words (William Cowper). I’ve learned that people have taken their
jubilation and joy and spontaneously composed hymns that were never written
down (Zinzendorf). I thought this class
was challenging, but rewarding. It made
me think a whole lot about myself and about my faith. I’m excited about the synoptic gospels class
next semester. We’ll see how things go
from there.
Works Cited
"Day by Day." Hymnary.Org. Hymn Society of
the United States and Canada. Web. 24 Apr
2013.
Iseringhausen,
Tim. "Sermon on John 13:31-35." Traditional Worship. Christ Lutheran Church. Ohio, Bexley. 28
Apr
0 comments:
Post a Comment